Breakdowns of 1939. 1940. ⚃
Oh! It’s a blooper reel compilation!
Only they’ve dubbed in “oh nuts” whenever somebody says “fuck!”
How come I haven’t seen these movies!? I mean, I’m more than half-way through 1939, and none of these movies look familiar?
All these movies look great!
I should have watched these instead!
I’ve seen this one!
I want to watch all these movies!
I’ve seen this one.
Resident Evil: Apocalypse. Alexander Witt. 2004. ⚁
So futuristic!
This is kinda odd? Is this supposed to be a… light-hearted take on the Resident Evil thing? It seems like they’re going for a comedy thing?
What the fuck is this even? I mean, it’s not so much “what’s going on?” but more “why should we care?”
The choices made here make no sense at any level: Every scene is just really boring? And awkwardly filmed? It’s like a Z movie with a higher budget? WHAT HAPPENED
Oh right.
Every scene so far has been oddly paced and without any tension.
Oh, and the reduced frame rate action stuff? That looked really janky even in 2004.
This movie looks more expensive than the previous one. And not just 30% more expensive (which it was), but a lot more.
Yeah, they’re stepping up the humour thing, and it’s really… insulting.
Resident Evil. Paul W.S. Anderson. 2002. ⚃
This is so stupid! I love it!
Every scene is like is was designed by an eleven-year-old. Everything is like “whoa!” all the time. ALL THE TIME! (If you’re that age, or if you’re like me, a very old very drunk man.)
This really has no reason to be this exciting! I mean, this may be the stupidest movie ever, but I’m totally in.
What was the budget for this thing? Ten bucks?
That’s more than I guessed!
It’s just so cheesy. Fantastic. It’s not like all the sets are made of MDF and duck tape… it’s more like plexiglass and plastics.
And the generic “Now That’s What I Call Industrial Metal” sound track!
Yes! Kill all the dogs!
OK, now the movie is starting to drag? The computer had to deliver like fourteen hours worth of exposition, and it was all stuff we’d already figured out, so that’s boring.
The problem with this sort of narrative (see Life for a more recent example) is that the thing they’re fighting (really) is a contagion that’s so virulent that the only logical thing for any protagonist to do is go “OK, we’re probably all infected, so the thing to do is 1) nuke this facility/send it into the Sun, and 2) kill ourselves, in whatever sequence makes the most sense”, but instead they have Milla and her gang escaping the compound. OK, Milla is really confused (she had her memory wiped), so that’s an excuse, but the soldiers? Nope.
Well, perhaps it’s a commentary on how badly trained soldiers are these days.
