The New Mutants. Josh Boone. 2020. ⚂

Oh, yeah, this was that final Fox X-Men movie that was pushed back and pushed back for years? And re-shot and re-edited? It’s gonna be great!

Well, that start wasn’t too bad… I like the decor…

Therapy time.

Isn’t that that Pietro guy? Hm… Uhm… nope. Oh! He’s playing Sam Guthrie? SAM!?!

Oh! Maisie Williams!

That’s better casting.

Yeah yeah, I read New Mutants as a child.

Nice doggie. Looks a bit old to be Rahne, though?

Ah, the classics.

This is quite horrorish. I kinda like it. I mean, it’s a bit confused, genre wise — I wonder whether this was originally a horror movie, or whether that’s what it turned into after a bunch of re-edits.

But it’s fine — I’m enjoying watching this.

I think this movie kinda worked… I mean, I’ve seen a whole lot worse super-hero movies. But I think Boone flubbed it — it’s a bit grey and morose instead of scary and funny.

The performances aren’t all there, either.

Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. Peter Jackson. 2003. ⚅

OK, the third and final movie. The first one was fabulous (except for the colour grading on the 4K version), and the second one was kinda… disappointing.

Perhaps this will be great?

Trey drunk.

Puff puff.

Preciouses.

Clearasil!

Herp derp.

OH NO!!! HE”S JOINED BAUHAUS! THE GOTH HAVE TAKEN HIM!

I guess Sauron doesn’t offer dental care on his health plan.

OK, I’m getting kinda punch drunk (in addition to drunk drunk) after watching all three Lord of the Ringses (extendedses editiones) movieses in one day… but this was a really good movie! I know, so controversial.

It’s almost as good as the first movie, I think.

Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. Peter Jackson. 2002. ⚃

Oops. 2002 called and wants their CGI back. I guess it’s more disturbing in a movie like this where there are so mane gorgeous actual shots of things, and then there’s… this…

Anyway! I’m excited to start on the next Lord of the Rings movie. I don’t really remember what this one is all about… I did remember much of the first movie, and I remember the ending of the last movie, but I have no idea what’s happening in this one.

I think Toklien was kinda against the industrial revolution?

Eeeeevil!!!

Oh yeah! This is the movie with the ents! So it’s the big fight against Saruman!

It’s all side quests this movie, I think.

Nice forest.

Jackson is upping the comedy routines in this movie, because there’s… really not much happening.

I mean, there’s a lot of stuff happening, but it doesn’t really seem to be … pertinent?

It’s a good strategy, because this is very entertaining. As a movie, it makes no sense, but it’s fun to watch.

Ouch. That CGI.

There really isn’t much going on in this movie. I admire Jackson for committing fully to filming four hours of filler scenes (I’m guessing) in a quite stylish way, but I’m kinda bored now, and I wasn’t bored at all during the first movie.

I hope something of significance is gonna happen sometime soon.

An, no, nothing of significance happens.

I had a peek at imdb. The first movie has an 8.8 rating (fair), and this one has an … 8.7 rating. People are insane!

I mean, it’s just… who cares about these horsey people? For hours and hours?

Such blue.

I feel that we’re not really getting much from the orc side of things. What’s the orc motivation for going to war? Do they want more meat in their diet? Is there an ocrmaiden at home they’re fighting for? What are their opinions on Emacs key bindings?

Well, that was disappointing. The first movie was fabulous, but this… wasn’t.