Varjoja paratiisissa. Aki Kaurismäki. 1986. ⚄

[seven minutes pass]

Are there people learning English in all of Kaurismäki’s movies?!

Anyway, I’m really digging this movie so far, which wasn’t the case at this point with Kaurismäki’s first two films.

The music is just as horrifyingly gruesome as always, though.

[the end]

I really enjoyed this movie. It’s an unpretentious little movie that absolutely nails the mood. The actors do an amazing job at non-acting, and it’s all just… sweet.

The music, though. Gack.

That Touch of Mink. Delbert Mann. 1962. ☐ ⚀ ⚁ ⚂ ⚃ ⚄ ⚅

[five minutes pass]

Well, this is an odd DVD transfer. It starts out letterboxed (on the 4:3) and then after the titles are over, it switches to non-letterboxed 4:3 (presumbaly pan-and-scan).

So this is pretty horrible, but… it’s what I’ve got!

This is one of Cary Grant’s last movies, but he’s just the same as ever.

Yup. It’s pan-n-scan. When people are talking to each other, half of the time they’re just talking to the air because the other person is outside the frame.

[fifty minutes pass]

I’m enjoying this… it’s very fleet-footed. It aims for amiable mirth, and succeeds. It’s not laugh-out-loud funny, but that’s not what it’s going for, so that’s OK.

The problem with the movie is… it’s fucking creepy. It’s fucking creepy. It’s all about this ingenue (Day) who’s being er “courted” by this point one percenter (Grant), so half the scenes is Day having panic attacks while trying to get out of actually having sex with Grant. That’s a downer, and makes a bunch of scenes where they’re going for “awww” end up with the audience (i.e., me) going “ewww!”

So I think we’re going for yet another ⚃ here… the most boring of all dice: “It’s OK”. When things are horrible, it’s more fun, really, and, of course, when movies are wonderful, that’s the best. ⚃ is the worst.

Sort of.

Bloodshot. Dave Wilson. 2020. ⚃

[ten minutes pass]

This is pretty disgusting. On-screen fridging just to motivate the hero. Such a cliché. Pathetic.

[forty minutes pass]

Ooh! Twist! I didn’t see that coming. Now I just sound stupid. If only there were a delete key on this keyboard.

I’ve slowly started to enjoy this movie. It’s got a bunch of actors that are entertaining to watch there on the screen, and it’s got a weird, loping rhythm. It’s choppy, but in a good way.

[the end]

By the end of this movie, I was totally into it. Sure, the movie doesn’t make that much sense (the premise is pretty silly), but it’s just so… likeable. Lamorne Morris as the computer nerd is outstanding, and the elevator fight scene was so much fun.

I’d totally be up for watching Bloodshot 2, but is there going to be one?

But that’s Covid figures, so… er… is that good? That many people risked their lives to see this? I guess that’s a vote of confidence.

Well!

My problem with this movie is really the first three quarters of an hour: The movie leans really hard into being a standard, dopey, stupid example of its genre… and does that so that when the twist comes, it makes all the more impact. That’s great! But it means that we have to suffer through forty-five minutes of a standard, dopey, stupid example of its genre first, and that’s not fun.