Is that a balls joke?

Man, this is a dark movie.

Uhm. This is directed by Andy Serkis? Gollum? He’s making some really odd choices here — first of all, many scenes here are so dark you’d think they were episodes of that final Game of Thrones season. And when he’s not filming people in pitch darkness, he’s obscuring their faces behind all sorts of things. Is this all elaborate revenge for all the years Serkis were doing CGI capture and never got his face on the screen?

It might just be the normal strategy for hiding how bad the CGI is — if you film the entire film in darkness, the CGI will be dark, too.

It’s got a budget of $110M, and I’m guessing the stars got half of that, so it’s got a pretty small budget for the CGI.

I’m kinda enjoying the banter and the frenetic pace of this — it drops us into the middle of things and doesn’t stop moving. And some of the gags are pretty amusing. But still it doesn’t all seem to connect? And I think it’s perhaps because it just looks kinda… #000000.

Tom Hardy is really charming here (when you can see him on the screen).

I think there was a fight scene, but I’m not quite sure.

Little Simz!

OK, now it’s just boring.

I think this movie had something going at the start — it was pretty amusing, and the banter (while clumsy at times) worked. And then it mostly stopped being funny, and there wasn’t much there except a couple fight scenes in the dark.

Venom: Let there be Carnage. Andy Serkis. 2021. ⚁

Looks like this is a documentary? And there’s no commentary, and so far nobody has spoken.

From the title, I guess this is from the east of something, but I’m not quite sure what yet. East France? Belgium? Europe?

OK, now there’s a radio playing… the singer sounds he’s from eastern Europe, I guess.

OK, that guy is talking. Definitely eastern Europe? No subtitles.

Is that cyrillic? So perhaps this is in Russia?

Jeanne Dielman II: This Time It’s Salami!

I wonder what the people who were shocked by Jeanne Dielman would say about this movie — I find it intermittently riveting, but then I drift off a bit. It’s just pure… film? I mean, Akerman points the camera at people, and that’s apparently all she does, and the result is something as interesting and captivating as this. But it’s also 10x as “boring” as Jeanne Dielman was, which had, you know, a plot.

I’m also wondering how she did all the slow tracking shots. Did she drive a cart around with a mounted camera very close to people? Had they been told that she would do that? Some people clearly avert their faces, because they don’t want to be on the film. Some people look straight into the camera. A few people talk. Most try to look natural. But what are they all waiting for?

Possibly the bus?

When this scene started, I assumed that we’d gotten to the last bit, and that this would last for 12 minutes, but instead it was a pretty brief take — just three or four minutes. Really nice tune and performance.

Anyway, it’s a really solid and enjoyable film.

From the East. Chantal Akerman. 1993. ⚅

*gasp*

So Norway’s colour graded kinda grey/bluish?

Such grey/blue.

Wow, this is like an old-fashioned, no-nonsense, non-referential disaster movie. It’s got the science nerds, the military, the president I mean prime minister, the monster… it’s like all those movies you’ve seen… but it works! It’s like, say, Godzilla, but without the pompous boring bits (i.e., “character development”). I’m totally into this.

I hope they don’t screw it up but just keep going like this.

Classic.

Well… OK… I thought they were gonna skip some parts of the formula, like the protagonist visiting their father and having an argument (since this film is less than two hours long), but they squeezed that in, too. It was a moderately amusing Daddy Issue set of scenes, but it was still kinda dull (as always).

I guess you gotta have character development if it’s gonna be on Netflix.

Well, OK. It did hit all the right notes, and landed a pretty satisfying (and was faithful to the genre), but it got a bit boring here and there. Not a lot — there was, like, 15 minutes of flab?

It’s a fun little movie. Very Godzilla.

Troll. Roar Uthaug. 2022. ⚃