The Honeymoon Killers

Oh! This isn’t French? I somehow assumed that it was a French movie… perhaps because of the French band with the same name?

Scorsese even:

Filmed primarily in Pittsfield, Massachusetts, production of The Honeymoon Killers began with Martin Scorsese as its appointed director. However, after Scorsese was fired early into the shoot, Kastle, who had helped develop the film, took over directing.

So this is an indie low budget movie, I guess?

It really reminds me of John Waters’ films a little later — the performers are presumably not professional actors, and the lines are a bit stilted. But this plays things seriously, of course.

It’s nicely shot, though.

That has to be the killer, I guess…

The protagonists here are the bad guys, but they take an unusual approach: When films have villains as the main characters, they usually end up with portraying them as pretty cool. You know, “outlaws”. But here they work really hard at making the Killers totally repulsive.

OK, I just have to pause a bit here to google what John Waters thought of this movie. Oh, right:

My first thought watching Leonard Kastle’s grimy black & white crime romance The Honeymoon Killers was “Surely, John Waters loves this.” Without any evidence or background context it seemed obvious to me that The Honeymoon Killers’s mix of camp excess & horrific violence was an influence on Waters’s work, especially evident in the early scene where the killers’ first mark is shown atonally singing “America the Beautiful” at top volume in a bathtub. Even Martha Beck’s over-plucked eyebrows felt like a blueprint for Divine’s signature look, an over-the-top perversion of vintage bad taste in 1950s fashion. The truth is, though, that John Waters was already a fully-formed artist by the time The Honeymoon Killers was released. In fact, his film that most closely resembles Kastle’s, Multiple Maniacs, was released the very same year & already featured Divine in her full, knife-sharp-eyebrows glory. Waters’s work as more a kindred spirit than a direct descendant.

I’d forgotten that Multiple Maniacs was that early — I though it was more mid-70s.

Some of these scenes are just amazing, but in aggregate it’s slightly disappointing? They basically just shout at each other all the time, but it’s not really played for laughs? So I want to love this, but I find myself getting fed up with all the whining and bitching — it’s grating.

Some of these scenes are so striking:

In Mr. Lo Bianco’s view, “The Honeymoon Killers” more or less directed itself. “The real heroes were the cinematographer and the editor, Stan Warnow,” he said in a telephone conversation. Seeking Love

I guess that makes sense — with two directors being booted out (and the third one never having directed anything before), the cinematographer is the person who’d be in control here.

And perhaps that’s the problem: There’s so many scenes that are difficult to read as anything but high camp, but it doesn’t seem to be on purpose. So it’s involuntarily hilarious, and cries out to be seen in a movie theatre with a very drunken audience who can throw popcorn at the screen.

And then it’s just horrifying.

So I don’t know… of course it’s one of John Waters’ favourite movies, and it may well be a masterpiece. Truffaut said it was the best American film ever or something.

There’s a lot here I love, but I was also annoyed by a lot of the film. So:

The Honeymoon Killers. Leonard Kastle. 1970.

Ambulance

Finally a quality TV! I mean, this is Michael Bay? It has to be great? Right? Right?

But… we’re five minutes in, and there still hasn’t been any explosions? There’s just been *eww* “character development”.

Is this even Michael Bay? And why has he named his film after the classic Larry Cohen movie starring Julia Roberts’ brother?

Hey! It’s Maggie Gyllenhaal’s brother!

Man, this is tedious. WHERE EXPLOSION

We’re 20 minutes in, but I think something is finally gonna happen… Bay has meticulously introduced a whole bunch of characters (they’re an exquisite collection of all the clichés you need for an action movie), and perhaps soon…?

Gotta have a gigantic dog.

Finally. Half an hour in, we get some action scenes.

Michael Bay has mellowed out.

It’s frustrating. There’s occasional scenes that are a lot of fun and I’m thinking YES FINALLY IT”S GOT A MOJO GOING, and then it’s followed by three scenes without any nerve whatsoever.

I’m still hopeful that Bay will manage to get something going…

See? It’s a helicopter chasing an ambulance. This should be fun! But instead it’s just kinda meh.

But it does look quite cool. Bay relies a lot on shakycam, but it’s less annoying that it could be.

It’s like there’s a fun 90 minute action movie hiding in here: Drop 45 minutes of character development and scenes that don’t quite work, and you’re there.

Well, OK. Fine.

They’re really going for zany, but arrive at cringe instead. And I like stupid movies; I don’t mind that the plot is really silly — I think that’s a plus. But like this scene, where they break into a schmaltzy song because Maggie’s brother needs to calm down — that could have been really funny — but they didn’t really commit, and that made it *rolls eyes* instead.

Large parts of this movie are so tedious that would be a reasonable score. But there were a few scenes that had nerve, and a couple of fun characters, and a three hankie ending, so:

Ambulance. Michael Bay. 2022.

Babes in Toyland

Oh… this is one of them there movies — based on a musical stage show and then loosely transposed to the screen? These movies usually aren’t all that, but this is certainly well-known enough. I mean, it’s named after that grunge band!?

Uh-oh.

I’m guessing these are the Laurel and Hardy characters?

Actually… this isn’t all that bad? It’s kinda amusing? And the sets are so over-the-top…

Wow, that’s some hairdo. I guess that’s… Tommy Sands?

And that’s Annette Funicello.

OK, this song is kinda not very good.

Changed my mind again — this isn’t very successful. But I can totally see what somebody like Laurel and Hardy could do with this material. These schticks could be hilarious, but here they just aren’t.

OK, Disney made this movie for, like, six-year-olds, so I’m totally in the target audience. But I’m really childish! So I think this is just… not firing on all cylinders.

OK, this guy is good. Uhm… Ray Bolger.

OK, I’m bailing.

It’s certainly well-made, but it’s like… sensory videos for babies? I.e., it’s probably nice for three-year-olds.

Babes in Toyland. Jack Donohue. 1960.