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The Power of the Dog

Oh fuuuuck! This is a Netflix movie?


OK, it’s got 105 seconds of co-producers at the start, so perhaps it being Netflixey isn’t going to ruin it totally…

Man, that’s a bad shot. It’s like somebody phoning into the Netflix Movie-Like Creation Department and requesting a Cowboy Walking In A Hallway scene.

Cumberband Whatsisname is really bad at being a cowboy.

I have no idea whether anything here is real — this scene looks like it’s 100% CGI, but why would anybody CGI a scene like this? So I guess it’s probably real, but they’ve just fucked things up so badly that you can’t tell. Filmed in summer in New Zealand when everything is green, but then colour graded to a brown desert? I don’t know, but it looks horrible.

Everything here looks so unreal… is that like a commentary on something?

This is really bad. Really bad! Even for a Netflix movie!

I was a Campion fan back in the Sweetie days, but then she got all Oscar Bait, and I guess this is the baitiest ever:

It was nominated for twelve (!) Oscars… and then won only one. Yoinks! Is that a way for the Oscars people to say “fuck you” to Netflix or something?

Such Montana.

It’s so… it’s so… crass? Is that the word I’m looking for? It’s a movie that wants to hang everything on Benderbatch’s scenery chewing performance, and that just kinda fails.

Such a strange doctor.

This is like a New Era of Quality TV thing, but in movie form. Which makes sense! It’s Netflix.

It doesn’t even make much sense. That… thing… that Cumulusband used to… gain entry… to a whole lake in the middle of the woods? Like… what? A secret huge lake you can only reach via a hutch? What?

Is this pounding symbolic of something!? Are they finally going to have sex!?

But the movie’s gotten a lot more watchable after the first hour, which was pure distilled tedium.

And then it gets both tedious and offensive — of course the gay brother has to die, because this movie was apparently filmed back in the 80s. The nineteen eighties.

Man, this film is such a turd. And it doesn’t even look good.

The Power of the Dog. Jane Campion. 2021.

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