Texasville

So this is the sequel to The Last Picture show, and I’m watching the extended black and white version (from Criterion).

Eh… this looks like a colour movie that somebody has removed the colour from. Which I guess it is.

Uhm… I think I’m gonna watch the colour version instead, because this just looks odd.

Yeah, this looks like it was intended to be shot in colour.

Hey, isn’t that… Eileen Brennan?

So, this film was done 20 years after The Last Picture Show, but is set 33 years later. That’s pretty unique?

So the actors were playing characters younger than themselves in the first movie, and now they’re playing characters older themselves…

Well, the cinematographer on the first movie was better.

Those are very actory toes.

Those are very fertile tomato plants. I can totally see why she’s digging a hole right next to one of them. It’s because of… er… because… I DON”T OWE YOU AN ANSWER11!

Advanced cinematography.

OK, you may infer from these things I’m typing that I’m not totally riveted by this movie.

The problem with this movie is that it assumes that we were so totally into the first movie that any information we’re getting about these characters 33 years later is supposed to be fascinating.

But I don’t really care, so it’s like eh? Eh?

Cybill Shepherd apparently only had three days to spare to film this, so her scenes are kinda brief.

Speaking of, she has had a strange career. She was hot shit in the 70s in a bunch of big movies (Taxi Driver, etc), and then was a phenomenon with the Die Hard guy in the 80s with Moonlighting, and then… sorta… faded? The final bigger thing I can remember seeing her in was in the Cybill sitcom, which was an American version of Absolutely Fabulous (only very very mild). And I like her a lot, but it does seem like the world didn’t. (I mean, she’s continued to work (and a lot) but nothing that’s making an impression, I think?)

I just couldn’t get into this movie. I was sitting here watching it, but nothing seemed to be of interest. But I guess it’s not awful or anything?

Texasville. Peter Bogdanovich. 1990. ⚂

I bought a Texasville bluray, but I already had two versions of the movie — included as extras on the Criterion Last Picture Show release, but I didn’t know that. I ended up watching the version from the latter release…

The Last Picture Show

I’m actually not that fond of this era. “New Hollywood” I guess it was called? It’s always seemed to me like there was a bunch of American directors really impressed by European films, so they tried to make their own — but they had none of the depth or interest of the movies they were aping, so instead you got… American 70s movies.

And this is about The Magic Of Movies, I guess.

I’ve never seen this one before, but I’ve wanted to, so here we are.

I’m not sure about this 4K Criterion restoration… There’s no scratches or anything, it’s stable, and the blacks are black, but there’s so much grain that it looks like fake grain. It’s like a swarm of bees — I’m not sure you can see that in the clip above, but it’s pretty distracting.

So picaresque… it’s just like we’re in 50s Italy…

One of the big problems with these movies are that American actors act (and they’re good at acting). And in these movies the director is always going “no, just be natural! be natural!” and they get so stiff and artificial.

Hey, it’s that guy.

Tense!

OK, I guess I understand why this movie made a splash…

I’ve seen almost no Bognodovatorish movies… I’ve seen What’s Up, Doc? And that might be it. Possibly Paper Moon, or I might have read the Mad Magazine version of it.

One of the most disturbing things about this movie is the foley work. They have a guy making noises throughout the movie — so when they get in the bed, there’s squeek squeek squeek etc. It sounds so fake.

What’s her name! She looks so familiar…

The plot on this movie is frankly unbelievable. Cybill Shepherd is hot for this asshole and he’s all like “no, not until you’ve had sex (with Jeff Bridges)”, and she’s like “oh no, not Jeff Bridges”.

It’s like… wat?

This movie annoyed me on many levels. I mean — it’s a good movie — but it goes for the easy solutions all the time. Like killing off the goofiest character, so that it’s “tragic” but not too sad? The easy sentimentality of small town theatres closing down. The horniness. (OK, that’s actually fine.)

I guess I was most annoyed by how the actors seem a millisecond away from looking at the director going “was that OK, mr. Bogdavonitarish? was that natural?” all the time.

The Last Picture Show. Peter Bogdanovich. 1971. ⚃

Barbie

Heh heh, that’s a funny opening.

I guess this movie is what is going to represent the Biden era for any generations that might follow — a brief respite when things seemed kinda normal.

This is funny and all, but… earlier today I watched Merrily We Live, where every scene had been honed to maximum hilarity, and in comparison, this just seems lazy: Most of the jokes are either referential or stuff like “I’ll beach you off”, which is funny because IT”S SUCH A DOUBLE ENTENDRE. Almost a century apart, it’s like I’m watching the decline of human humour or something.

And this dance number? It’s not good. I mean, for non-dancers it’s not bad, but…

Oh, now we’re in SNL land…

I thought this would be better. It’s like they thought that the entire concept of “Barbie, but slightly sarcastic” would be so hilarious that they don’t have to write any actual jokes. Instead it’s just references, and a shot of Miss America and them going “Oh, the Supreme Court”…

The script feels lazy. And I’m just half an hour in and I’m already thinking that this is too long.

Some of the scenes are pretty zippy, but most of them are just too slow.

I wonder whether Hazel Flagg saw this movie.

And:

OK, I didn’t think she’d like it, but that’s harsh, man! I fear she’s right, though. I hope the movie picks up…

OK, that’s not a bad joke. But it’s a one-liner seemingly designed to be quoted on Twitter.

Man.

Those 1-star reviews are obviously all Nazis, but people actually seemed to like this movie.

This really is like a really, really long SNL skit.

Did this song win the Oscars? It did not, and it’s not a good song.

Wow, that’s harsh! But accurate.

Oh my god. I’ve been ready for this to be over for at least half an hour, but there’s 15 minutes more to go?

It’s just been one preachy scene after another and I’m ready to gnaw my foot off.

There are funny bits in this, but the last half of the movie is unbelievably boring. It just can’t stop preaching at the audience — when one rousing speech stops, you get the next one.

So while it’s a really miserable thing to see, I have to go with:

Barbie. Greta Gerwig. 2023. ⚁