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Don’t Worry Darling

SPOILER WARNINGS: If you’re going to watch this movie, don’t read this blog article, because I’m nattering on about stuff you don’t want to know before watching it.


You’ve been warned.

Here goes:

It feels like it’s been a while since I’ve seen that logo? And… never in faux metal, fortunately?

Is that Harry Styles? I thought this was with Alec Baldwin, but I was probably thinking of that other movie…

I guess it’s back in the 60s, because they didn’t have light or saturation back then.



So this is some kind of sci-fi movie?

Anyway, I’m watching this because it seemed to be universally critically panned for being to weird, and I’m all for that. I mean, I never read reviews before watching a movie, but that was my impression from various headlines that’s flashed before mine eyes…

So we’re talking some kind of virtual world?

Now there’s a song where the lyrics are going “Life would be dream” or something, so I guess.

I hope there’s a twist here beyond the non-reality of the movie. Perhaps the twist is gonna be that it’s real?

Foreshadowing! Subtle!

The lighting here is just odd. Even outside, in bright sunshine, it just seems like everything is too dark.

That’s a Chris, right? I can never remember what their names are… the Chris that’s in Star Trek?

The performances are swell.

Oh! Is this just a straight-ahead horror sci-fi movie, a la The Prisoner? Horror movies should have more obvious titles.

Jeanne Dielman, 23, quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles tribute scene. Isn’t that the same colour bathtub?

Gotta have some eyeballs.

I really wanted to like this, but it just drags on and on. It’s been almost an hour now, and I feel there’s been material for, like, half as much screen time as that.

But I still have vague hopes that there’s be more than just the obvious Stepford Wives/Westworld/Prisoner rehash this seems like it is.

I’m just profoundly bored.

Oh oh oh, now I’m back to my second theory — the twist isn’t that there isn’t a twist. This is really the 60s and the protagonist is insane.

No! Now I get it. This is a post-apocalyptic thing — they’re all decanted embryos living in a gated city, and outside it’s all gnarly.

I’m sorry, I’m making this sound more interesting than it is… It just has no urgency. I think there might be a fun movie in here somewhere, but it just drags and drags. Even in the major dramatic showdowns, there’s like no stakes, and there’s nothing urgent, and it’s just hard to care.

And now it’s even darker!!!

Well… that plot twist was not what I expected. I mean, it was generally what I thought at the very start, but not that this was all about manosphere internet assholes and stuff. But that’s a somewhat better twist than I expected, really.

But it’s still not actually that … terrifying? And it fucking should be.

Shouldn’t that Porsche be going faster than those other cars?

I know, I have the most insightful, deep criticisms.

I think he’s exaggerating. There’s an 80 minute fun movie in here somewhere, but you’d have to work really hard to get at it.


But the movie is only tangentially interested in its clichéd narrative. The breakthrough to reality and self-actualization are perfunctory and stuffed into the last half-hour of the movie more as obligation than consummation. This is a Hollywood film with big-name actors; it’s got to have a plot and a resolution. It can’t be “Eraserhead.”

I’m not convinced. I think it’s just a very clichéd movie that doesn’t work even at the obvious level.

Don’t Worry Darling. Olivia Wilde. 2022.

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