The Prom. Ryan Murphy. 2020. ⚂
[fifteen minutes pass]
This thing has a good thing going: The premise is fun, and it’s got a couple of good actors (and then there’s the male actors), and it’s sparkly fun.
But… oy, the greenscreen and the constant CGI. It looks like something made for a low-budget Canadian sci-fi tv series fifteen years ago (yes, I’m talking about Sanctuary).
And the singing… oy… everybody has been autotuned to total musical perfection, which means that every time somebody sings, it’s that horrid, off-phase gruesomeness. (I’m not talking about The Cher Effect, but when they actually use it to correct the pitch. I kinda like TCE, but when used “subtly” for pitch correction… oh, the horror.)
So I’ve put some DJ\Rupture on to drown out the movie whenever somebody starts singing, and I’m surviving.
[ten minutes pass]
Oh, when Meryl Streep sings, it doesn’t sound that awful. Did she get them to switch the machine off?
[er… an hour passes? this is a long movie]
It’s a pretty amusing movie, but there’s these… character development bits… that are really tedious. I feel like there’s a fun movie in here somewhere. If it has been half as long.
*checks how much time is left*
OH MY FUCKING GOD THERE”S ONE MORE HOUR LEFT!!!
OK, I’m taking a break to bake some cookies.
[time passes]
I’m back!
Mmm… cookies…
[more time passes]
The movie seems even worse now? Even if the cookies kick ass?
[the end]
Well, that was kinda dull.
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