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Lost Boys: The Thirst

Lost Boys: The Thirst. Dario Piana. 2010. ⚃

Uh-oh. Well, the previous movie was 4.5, and that was a fun movie… so this is probably a more serious movie? And perhaps actually bad?

Let’s see.

[twenty minutes pass]

OK, this isn’t a “good movie”…

The previous movie was a retread of the first movie, but even funnier. This is … hm… I don’t know what this is. It’s got both of the Frog brothers (Corey Feldman and Jamison Newlander), and they’re the protagonists here, instead of being funny side-kicks (like Feldman was in the previous movie).

I like Feldman — he brings his all into making this funny (by playing it over-seriously), but as the central character? I’m not sure…

And Feldman’s hair looks so much like a wig that I’m wondering whether it’s his real hair, but with a bad hairdo? Because a wig can’t look that bad.

[ten minutes pass]

It’s funny… but there’s some scenes here that just don’t feel quite right. I think it’s an editing problem? It just doesn’t feel… musical? They scenes could have been slightly more snappier, and then it’d have been hilariou instead of amusing?

[fifteen minutes pass]

It’s so frustrating! This could almost have been a horror/comedy camp classic. The jokes are almost there… just a bit more work, and they could actually have landed. The movie does so much right… the 80s horror parody feel, and the non-ironic approach to everything… I almost feel guilty about not liking this more than I do.

It’s so great when Feldman pairs up with Casey B. Dolan — delivering up straight lines to each other continuously. But there needs to be more punchlines!

[the end]

This reminds me so much of fun 90s series like Xena: Warrior Princess and Cleopatra 2525 (the first season). It’s got the same kinda vibe. And so it’s totally out of step with what was popular in 2010, which was the New Era Of Quality TV (i.e, zzz), so I understand why there wasn’t another sequel. But I could watch a dozen of these. It’s easy, breezy, vampire slaying.

Take this with a grain or salt (or a shovel or two), but this is so much better than you’d expect.

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