Yes, that is totally how a spice rack is mounted in an actual, real house.

OK, so this is a no-budget kind of movie, I guess? But it’s pretty odd even for one of those — the video is kinda choppy… is there an FPS mixup somewhere? It feels like it’s a 12 FPS film.

Yes, that is exactly how you paint.

So… this is set in like 2001, but there’s flashbacks to… the 70s?

I really started wondering whether this was an older movie (i.e., more than a decade old) because it looks rather like early digital — kinda crappy.

Some of the actors here aren’t that bad, but… it’s a pretty bad movie.

Perhaps the worst thing about this film is the über-schmaltzy music running in basically every scene. It’s pretty hard to take.

Such shock.

Oh my god. I’m only halfway through?

That’s such a real 70s living room. The whole family just relaxing.

It’s debatin’ time!

There’s barely a movie here at all, and they spend two hours getting there. I mean, the people making this probably had fun? But…

It’s bad.

You Are My Sunshine. David Hastings. 2021. ⚀

This isn’t day for night — it’s colour grading for day?

Is that CGI?

Heh heh. OK, this is a comedy? I have no idea what led me to buying this movie, but I did? Apparently? Did somebody recommend it?

It’s quite amusing so far.

I really should note why I’m buying stuff, because this seems pretty random.

This is obvs a low budget movie, but it looks really good.

Except for the CGI snow which they overdo in some of the scenes.

I’m really enjoying this — they’ve got great repartee going, likeable characters and entertaining actors.

Hey! That’s Cheyenne Jackson, isn’t it?

It’s a kind of chamber piece — there’s less than a dozen actors in total, I think, and they’re trapped in a tiny village. And all the characters are real characters.

Well… it’s really slowing down now. Did they run out of money to do outdoors shots and just had to plough through 30 script pages with these people sitting in one room?

OK, that was just some down time — the movie picks up again.

This is one of the best low budget comedy/horror movies I’ve seen in years. It’s really charming — the funny bits are really funny, and there’s some scary bits that are scary. It’s just really well made. *slow clap*

However, it was just a bit flabby in the middle there. Perhaps because they didn’t even have enough money to shoot something fun? So instead we got a section in the hotel there that didn’t seem to go anywhere interesting — and a lot of “eh?”, like the fate of that science woman (who had some of the funniest scenes before that).

Perhaps it’s a ⚃ movie really, but I’m rating on a low budget scale, so:

Werewolves Within. Josh Ruben. 2021. ⚄

I’ve seen this before, and I didn’t like it much then. But that was a crappy pirated copy, so when I happened upon this blu ray release from the BFI, I bought it anyway.

And now I’m watching it. Perhaps it’s better this time.

Indeed.

So basically, the entire film happens in this hotel room? And it’s all philosophical discussions between a British journalist and an alien robot — about the Middle East conflict(s).

It sounds like it should be brilliant, right? But it’s not.

Very Vermeerish.

Peter Wollen was a film professor at UCLA, and had done a number of shorts before this movie — which is his final credit as director.

Perhaps he was a good teacher — but… er…

This movie has a lot of problems, but perhaps one of them is the stereotypical casting? In this movie, by an older male professor, the protagonist is an older male journalist, who is lecturing a young woman (OK, robot) about all kinds of things. It’s a kind of Mary Sue movie, really. Mary Wollen.

Perhaps it could have worked with different casting for the guy.

I wonder whether Wollen was thinking he was making something like Liquid Sky — that’s got an alien and strange things, too, but…

Man, this is even worse than last time I saw it. It’s just bone-crushingly uninteresting.

Friendship’s Death. Peter Wollen. 1987. ⚁