Serial Mom. John Waters. 1994. ⚅

Hey! Most of John Waters’ movies were released on 2K the other year, and I bought them all, but forgot to watch them.

So I’m starting with Serial Mom, which is the newest one.

That makes sense.

[thirty minutes pass]

I’m just flabbergasted at how funny this is, and I wouldn’t be typing now at all except that I’m baking, so I had to take a little break here anyway.

I’ve seen this a couple of times before, but I didn’t remember how totally it was in like with Waters’ 80s aesthetic. I vaguely seemed to remember it being a somewhat different thing — I mean, Cry-Baby and Hairspray were so… life-affirming? And then there’s this thing that’s…

It’s about how satisfying it would be to kill assholes.

So it’s Waters from his more anarchic 70s, but visually being in line with his 80s stuff, and it’s, perhaps, a bit jarring? Was this his first … failure, box office wise?

It was!

And I can totally see how people in 1994 would be grossed out (but for real; not like when Divine ate etc), because it seems to out of step with the 90s. Remember the 90s? You probably don’t, because you weren’t born then (statistical speaking), but it was a time of optimism: Sure, all the music sucked, but there was a feeling of things getting better; that change was possible. And then you get this… Nixon/Reagan satire thing… nobody wanted that.

But I’m just saying: This is hilarious! It’s as good as any Waters movie! Which means… it’s fabulous!

[ten minutes pass]

OK, now the cake is in the oven for 40 minutes…

All the performances here are spot on, but I can’t get over how fantastic Kathleen Turner is. I mean, I think that may be partially because I somehow associate her with a previous generation of actors, so it’s like having… er… Lauren Bacall… showing up in a movie like this. In my mind, she somehow has that classic stature despite making her first movie in 1981.

She’s hilarious! And I can’t quite believe that she would do a movie like this, which makes it even funnier.

[the end]

I love this so much. It’s so faux deep. It’s so funny. It’s pure John Waters.

Oh, there’s a documentary on this blu-ray where Waters talks with Kathleen Turner and Min Stole!

Heh heh heh! Turner just said that Michael Douglas called her and asked her… “are you really doing this? Tell me this isn’t true!?!?”

[twenty minutes pass]

This is really uncomfortable. I mean, Mink Stole and Waters are talking about their fun early movies, and Turner is like sitting there going “oh…”

It’s a kinda shitty conversation. I wanted to hear more about how Turner ended up in this movie, and what the repercussions were (if any).

But then there’s a documentary! It’s interesting… you get everybody from Sam Whatsisname to everybody else weighing in on the movie and saying fascinating stuff.

Damn Yankees. Stanley Donen, George Abbott. 1958. ☐ ⚀ ⚁ ⚂ ⚃ ⚄ ⚅

I continue my mini-blog-article series of “movies directed by people called George”. Makes as much sense as any other methodology, right?

[twenty minutes pass]

I’m guessing this was a stage musical? And did the reuse the stage actors? Because there’s a lot of singing, and nobody so far can like actually sing.

I’m shocked that Stanley Donen is the co-director here, because this has no zip. The repartee is even flatter than the singing.

I don’t get it… so far. But I find sportsball pretty tedious, and this particular sportsball is probably the non plus ultra of tediousness. But I guess mileages may vary.

Damn those variable mileages!

[forty minutes pass]

OK, I changed my mind a bit. It’s a fun movie with some entertaining performances. I mean, Gwen Verdon. And Tab Hunter is easy on the eyes. But… it’s an oddly paced movie, where nothing seems to happen for hours, but then only five minutes have passed.

Hm… this is George Abbott’s final movie? But then again, he was 71 at the time.

Bye Bye Birdie. George Sidney. 1963. ⚄

So I just watched a George Sidney movie… so now I’m watching a George Sidney movie.

But two decades later.

[fifteen minutes later]

This is the loopiest thing I’ve seen. What makes it so strange is that… it’s like… it’s like a silly 30s musical… but it’s made in the 60s, so everything just seems surreal. It seems so unlikely that somebody would make something like this in 1963.

I guess the 60s didn’t start until a couple years later?

Or everybody involved with this movie were dropping acid way before everybody else.

And the least crazy thing about this movie is that Maureen Stapleton (38) plays the mother of Dick Van Dyke (38).

IT”S THE LEAST CRAZY THING

[twenty minutes pass]

I… er.. wha… uh… uhm.

So, obvs, this movie is a commentary on Elvis and his popularity. But… it’s also a free-flowing parody of just about everything else, too. It’s almost a John Waters movie. It just needs Divine and fewer scenes with Dick Van Dyke and you’re there.

And this is Ann-Margret’s second movie? Actually, she’s more of a name than an actor I know… I just looked at her imdb, and of the 50+ movies she’s done, I think I’ve seen… two? Possibly three?

[the end]

This movie is a lot of fun… it’s strange that it’s not a huge cult classic, to be totally self-contradictory.

The main problem with this movie is perhaps the guy playing Elvis I mean Birdie. He’s not all that, so his scenes become more like “yes, I can see what they’re going for” instead of “yee-haw!” But he does dance swell. (Not very surprisingly, he only got one further movie role (the next year) and then had to move to TV.)

But the dance scenes are incredible. In-credible. I mean, they’re more feats of incredible gymnastics and precision than, like “dance dance”, but they’re flabbergasting to watch.

So I’ve seen two George Sidney movies in a row, and they were both exceptional. And he’s a guy I don’t think I’ve ever heard of before. Perhaps I should look into his filmography…