The titles to this were so colourful that I thought “*phew* dodged the desaturated colour grading on this one”, but nope.

Paul Schrader… that name seems really, really familiar, but I can’t quite place it.

Oh, right, he directed (and/or wrote) a whole bunch of movies back in the late 70s/early 80s that seemed to be very much part of the zeitgeist back then: He wrote Taxi Driver and directed Hardcore (with George C Scott), and American Gigolo (which I guess made Richard Gere a thing), and er Cat People and Mishima…

So I think I’ve seen all his movies until the mid 80s, and after that, I’ve seen zilch. Eyeballing them, it seems like most of them weren’t well received. Like:

And:

This first five minutes of this movie are risible — Joel Edgerton (a very philosophical gardener) spouts deep-sounding but deeply moronic lines while the camera portentously follows him.

Oh, yeah, this is why I bought this movie.

Oh, yeah, Schrader is a total moron:

In 2022, Schrader criticized that year’s Sight and Sound Greatest Films poll, describing it as a “politically correct rejiggering”, with its selection of Jeanne Dielman, 23 quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles as the greatest film of all time being the product of “distorted woke reappraisal”.

It seems really weird to go this grey in a film about plants and stuff. Perhaps they’re gonna go all Wizard of Oz when summer comes? I doubt it, though — this is just what all movies look like now.

Very ambiguous tattoos, Travis.

That’s some wallpaper.

Very cosy dinner party.

Oh, the gardener is boinking both his boss and her grand niece? Very Schrader I’m sure.

OK, so he takes off his shirt, revealing the tats, because he’s… writing… Writing is sweaty work.

See, by having sex with a Black woman, he’s absolved from his Nazi tattoos (and she’s making him remove them). He’s a fixer upper.

After having sex with the grand niece, the road somehow becomes CGI.

Nooo! They hurt the annuals! Vandals! *shakes fist*

This is barely a movie at all. Everything about it is risible. Well, except Sigourney Weaver’s brief performance (I’m guessing she was on set one single day).

Master Gardener. Paul Schrader. 2022. ⚀

It’s a super-hero movie that’s just 1h44m! I didn’t know that was allowed! I thought they had to be at least two and a half hours!

I didn’t watch the Ms. Marvel tv series (after the first ep), but it seemed like an OK series. But I was disappointed that she didn’t have her embiggening powers and instead seemed to shoot some kind of energy bolt out of her hands? It seems like she’s still doing that here.

And now we’re getting a recap of Capt. Marvel’s origins…? I think I’ve seen that movie, but I remember nothing of it. Still, I don’t really feel I need a recap — she’s a super-hero; they all have an origin and they’re never interesting.

But OK, that only lasted for a couple of minutes and now there’s stuff happening! And Captain Marvel has a cat on her shoulder!!!

And and…

Wow, this really moves fast. I like it.

And it looks kinda good? Much better than most Marvel movies, at least. I mean, it’s all CGI and greenscreen, but they haven’t colour graded everything into oblivion…

Oh, this is a Palestine/Israel metaphor…

This is so entertaining! I thought super-hero movies were over? But so far, this is one of the best ones I’ve watched.

Well, I’m still not sure why this wasn’t a box office smash. But it does tease you with all these continuity things that you may or may not know. I mean, I got about half of them, but I didn’t mind the half I didn’t get? It’s like “oh yeah, there’s a history here; sounds interesting” but that didn’t detract from enjoying this very enjoyable movie?

EEk!

And this movie really leans into the silliness of classic super-hero comics. It really captures the feeling of reading those comics.

Such Fury.

Oh, and they’re tying this into the Hawkeye series — the best Marvel TV series? Man. But I guess that’s never going to happen since this movie bombed:

I guess it’d have to gross around $400M to make a profit, and it didn’t do that.

Which is a shame. This movie really nails what a super-hero movie should be: Fun, action filled and inventive.

And… it looks great! So much better than most Marvel movies — it’s like if they don’t have to do 150 minutes, they can do proper CGI? And not colour grade everything into greyness?

The Marvels. Nia DaCosta. 2023. ⚄

Is that where that clan came from?

So, this is basically just a guy doing the way of the wu tang shaolin clan thing for 15 minutes — and it’s just not that fascinating? My mind started wandering and before you know it I had gotten a cheese board out, and that’s not a good sign.

Meditation on Violence. Maya Deren. 1949. ⚁