He’s so playing that guitar!

Oh my ghod! They totally had me there! I thought that this was gonna be the cheesiest movie ever. But it’s a comment of cheesiness in movies instead!

Well played.

Esther Williams is very… tan… in this movie.

Oh, the … tannity… was only for the movie within the movie.

It’s all so meta.

It’s an odd movie — it’s got all these characters spouting off on… stuff…

I mean, we’re twenty minutes in, and I really have no idea what this movie is even about.

I like what I’m seeing, but I’m totally befuddled.

This bit is amusing.

Oh! I just realised that this is from 1948. So it’s one of the first colour movies that just is a colour movie because that’s what they make, and not for any artistic reason, or because it’s a huge big-budget movie.

And the colour looks great. Technology happens.

Jimmy Durante is the only actor that’s like… giving any emotion here… but that’s fine.

Drunk thoughts time: Some people is just weird thinking is dead a long time ago, like Durante. I mean, he was already old in all the movies I’ve seen him in, so he seemed kinda… eternal?

I like this movie, but the plot is like whaaa. And kinda abusive? I think they were going for a complicated meet cute, but the meet cute doesn’t happen until the halfway point of the movie, and it’s very… odd.

But the scenery is so beautiful. I want to be in all these locations, which is what matters to the filmmakers?

I’m really enjoying this, but it sure would have been nice if the jokes had been like actually funny and stuff. Instead this is a kinda generic? movie… it’s like they had an outline for a script, and they had asterisks going “write a joke here” and then they didn’t have the time.

It’s fun, but it’s not funny.

Tee hee.

But this is just inexplicably long for the amount of plot they had here. It’s like aiming for a 70 minute movie, but then the result is a 110 minute movie, and it’s just not that amusing.

There’s scenes in here that are really delightful, but as a movie, it just doesn’t quite work.

On An Island With You. Richard Thorpe. 1948. ⚂

Practical titles!

You don’t see that a lot.

Tati’s doing these houses as his vision of a modernist nightmare… but I really love these houses! I so want to live here!

So this is his vision of how architecture should be, I think? And I like this too.

Heh heh. This is very funny, though.

I love it!

This is where I want to live! All concrete and angles and stuff.

No! This is what I want my living room to look like!

My dream garden!

My dream living room!

That’s what I want my windows to look like!

And my lawnmower!

That’s totally what I want my hallway to look like.

I really enjoy this movie, but the pacing is pretty weird. I was all aboard with the house stuff, but then we shift to the factory (for some I Love Lucy stuff), and the er plot of the movie kinda sorta evaporates? I had this problem with Playtime, too — the segments just didn’t seem to connect?

But, I mean, every shot here is genius, so I’m just quibbling… but it seems odd that nobody would just go “er, M. Tati, how does what do you say all this like connect into a whole”….

Gorgeous! I want that garage!

Tati predicted the Roomba.

I loved watching this movie. I mean, every scene is just genius. And the (five?) little dogs tying it all together. It’s fabulous. But there’s just this slight disconnect between the scenes: If it hadn’t been for the factory stuff, I think this would have felt like a more complete movie, instead of a collection of meticulously engineered tableaux? I mean, all these scenes are just so … amazing.

Still, I’m just giving it a:

Mon Oncle. Jacques Tati. 1958. ⚄

Oh! This is a sequel to The Hitman’s Bodyguard! Which I haven’t seen! Should I…

No, let’s just go with the flow.

This is most amusing!

I like this! It’s very, very silly. But I’m getting a whiplash from switching between good practical gags and very bad CGI gags all the time. And every shot is like three seconds long.

Max.

I see what they’re going for — overwhelming the viewer with fun chaos, but I’m not quite on board?

On the other hand.

So Hayek is married to Jackson? He’s like a couple decades older than she is? That’s movies for you.

When this movie works, it’s awesome. But there’s like all these little things that make you go “huh?” and then you’re out of the silliness of it all. It’s like… there’s too many things? And then there’s not enough things? It’s a pacing issue.

So generic!

Well! How do you score this? This was very funny — I laughed out loud a lot. But on the other hand — it’s so choppy! You’ve got these great action sequences, and then these super-cheesy CGI things that makes you go “er wha…” Did this have zero budget left after they finished shooting it? Nothing for the effects people?

But let’s just go with the fun and:

The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard. Patrick Hughes. 2021. ⚄