I watched this on the plane to New York, and I’m kinda just testing whether the screenshotting thing works on this laptop with this post. (I’m typing this later, though.)

I’ve sort of made it a ritual to watch a Rohmer film when on long flights. They seem so well-suited for slightly distracted watching (with the flight stewards interrupting every three minutes).

As usual with Rohmer, it’s a very pretty film, but unusually, it has a kind of “high concept” kind of plot — a woman meets the love of her life while on holiday, but then gives him the wrong address by mistake, so they can’t find each other afterwards. So the question is: Should she settle for other lovers, or hold out for that guy?

Not that guy! Don’t settle! Don’t!!!

*sniff* It’s really good.

Conte d’Hiver. Éric Rohmer. 1992. ⚄

Eep! It’s a sports movie!

This is more like a TV series than a movie, but it’s not annoying.

This is a very confusing movie. I don’t even understand what this is supposed to be about… It’s about… a gay rugby league, and things are… dramatic… because…

Every scene has been played as if something really dramatic is going on, and then there’s nothing. It’s like they’ve read that book How To Write A Damn Good Novel, where the central tenet is that there should always be a primary and a secondary conflict in any (ANY) scene. This usually translates to people shouting at each other for no reason when the writer can’t come up with a secondary conflict for that scene.

…

OH MY RU! This is 135 mins long?! So was this a TV series originally?

OK, this is just a love story kinda (with lots of cheating)? There’s like very little plot here.

Just sneaking around, some rugby, and a lot of drinking in bars. So my puzzlement have changed from “what’s this then?” to “why should anybody care?”

I’m hoping there’ll be a twist, but I’m not counting on it.

You can tell that it’s cold by them colour-grading everything blue.

There’s like no stakes? I’m beginning to believe that they haven’t read that book anyway. I mean, the outcome of this match should determine his grandmother’s birthday or something, but instead it’s just this random match that means nothing (except them getting cold and wet).

Eep! I’m just an hour in… more than half to go, and there’s basically nothing really is happening. I mean, there’s a handful of plot strands, but none of them seem really vital. I guess that’s what makes it seem like a TV series…

OK, now I have to google it.

So it’s not a TV series…

In from the Side was partly funded using a crowdfunding model.

I’m not the only one!

It’s an intriguing backdrop to a tale of infidelity, but it would be better suited to a four-parter on TV.

OK, this bit where he takes his super-secret lover to meet his parents (as one does) is tedious beyond belief.

UNCOMFORTABLE

But now he remembers what’s important in life: Rugby.

I wasn’t annoyed by this movie. It’s like… there’s so little going on here that it’s almost impossible to be annoyed? But that’s perhaps a bit too flippant. But it’s really quite unusual how un-annoying it is: There’s nothing weird going on with the cinematography (shakycam or over-colour correcting), or the audio (no insistent soundtrack or over-foleying), or the acting (perfectly pleasant and professional).

It’s a bit like watching tasteful wallpaper dry.

So how do you score that?

In From the Side. Matt Carter. 2022. ⚁

Nice duds for partying.

There’s a certain amateurishness to everything here… as if this was made by kids who were telling TV camera people what to do? I.e., lots of zooming, and odd framing, and overly theatrical performances…

Ah, it’s a pro-Korea propaganda movie? I’m guessing ex-Korean people weren’t treated well in Russia… (I mean, Soviet Union.)

Oh, it’s a series of (quite short) … stories? The first one was barely a scene.

Oh, these aren’t stories at all… It’s just one story that’s broken into chapters.

Unfortunately, it’s pretty dull stuff. I mean, the concept doesn’t sound that bad: A teacher kills a girl, and their parent vow revenge. But the parents are old, so the father has to take a new concubine to get a son who can carry out the revenge.

I mean, that’s practically John Wick, isn’t it?

It’s just not done very well. I think I see what the director is going for, but it turns into a kind of … parody of art movies instead.

It’s not impossible that I would have enjoyed this more if I paid more attention, but I sorta lost interest pretty quickly and my mind stated wandering.

So now I’m not quite sure what’s happening.

I’m totally open to the possibility that this is a masterpiece, but I just found it pretty dull.

Месть. Yermek Shinarbayev. 1990. ⚁