Hey, he’s back!

OK, finally we’re off the island(s) — it only took them four movies. Going-to-an-island-with-dinosaurs-and-then-things-happen isn’t an intrinsically exciting plot.

So I’m guessing this time they’re gonna go on rampage in Manhattan or something?

And… perhaps it’s going to be because a group of environmentalists wants to rescue the dinos? Or possibly the evil capitalists. Or both?

Aww!

Noo! They’re back on the island!

This movie does look pretty good, though. Puts Marvel CGI to shame.

OK, now I changed my mind — the CGI isn’t all that convincing. The dinos seem too stiff, but when they fight each other, it’s light they’re made of lightweight rubber — they bounce around in a not very thrilling way.

And why do they go for this pose All The Time?

Nice. Especially since he was trying to reboot the system.

THIS MOVIE IS SO UNREALISTIC yeah yeah

I guess this movie is better than the fourth film. But it’s still not very exciting.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. J.A. Bayona. 2018. ⚂

I guess Spielberg is still involved?

I’m wondering how they’re gonna depict the dinosaurs now that we know that they’re overgrown chickens: Are they still gonna go with the reptile look, or update it to a more feathery look?

I’m kinda surprised that they continue with the “people go to an island with dinosaurs” plot yet another time: I had kinda expected that they were going to go with a “the dinosaurs escaped and they’re now living in the sewers in New York” or somthing.

I mean — Dinosaur Island for the fourth time?

OK, but this time around they’re more professional, and have a real functioning dinosaur theme park.

This movie looks a bit odd. I mean, it looks like an early digital movie — everything is overly sharp and contrastey — but this is from 2015, so movies looked smother by then… perhaps it’s the 4K transfer that’s been overly sharpened?

Heh heh, this guy wants to use the dinosaurs for the military. Yeah, that’s… er… genius! We should be using lions and tigers now!

Hey! I’ve seen a meme of this!

Grr

Aww.

Some of the performances are just downright weird. I was waiting for this character to be revealed as a genetically modified android or something, but I guess not? She just plays the character this way?

I know, I know — it’s a Jurassic movie; it’s not supposed to make sense. But like — why did they breed like 200 pteranosauruses and keep them all in a glass bowl? That seems really expensive (they must eat a lot of meat), doesn’t add a lot of spectacle to the theme park (you can’t pet them), and it catastrophic when the glass bowl fails?

I KNOW I KNOW

What I’m trying to say that I’m pretty bored.

What is that thing anyway?

Plot twist!

And I love how when they finally decide to start shooting, they start off with some put-puts that doesn’t hurt the dinosaur at all, but makes it run away into the forest. Only after doing that, you shoot off the grenade launcher that can actually do some damage. (But you’ll miss because it’s run off already.)

Oh, I thought there was going to be a twist in the Big Dino Fight — that they’d mate or something instead.

OK, I don’t know why I just couldn’t get into this at all. I mean, it looks pretty good? And it’s got some nice dinosaurs. And Chris Whatsisname does a pretty good job. And I guess it’s not any more stupid than the previous outings.

But I just found the entire thing pretty boring? It may just be me, though.

Jurassic World. Colin Trevorrow. 2015. ⚂

Now that’s a classy title screen.

Oh really?

That’s more like it!

Oh yeah, this is the Elm Street movie that really establishes the “mythos” — the first movie was just a smart movie about nightmares and stuff, and the second movie was… nothing… but then this movie takes a hard look at the first movie and creates this whole… thing… using that as a basis.

If I remember correctly.

Hey! She’s back!

It’s Cowboy Curtis!

It’s really 80s — I like that.

IT”S GOOGEL

This movie, like, distills what made the first movie work: If you fall asleep, you’re in a really scary world where you’re powerless, and that really resonates.

But then this movie is about banding together and vanquishing the evil, which is a really smart move, too — for a final movie in a series, but then again, this isn’t.

Is that the talk show guy…? I guess not.

The scares are pretty inventive. They don’t really seem like actual nightmares, though.

Oh yeah, in this movie Krueger is the result of a gruesome rape. I think they backed off from that in later movies? It’s perhaps not the best origin story for a gruesome villain?

It’s not very scary, but it’s kinda inventive? And while there are large portions of this movie that drag, there’s some parts that are pretty entertaining.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. Chuck Russell. 1987. ⚃