Yes, that’s how to make your store cosy.

First you put the gun on the wall…

… then you distribute some pillows.

Oh, yeah, about this DVD:

But then I forgot to watch the other movie! Which I’m doing now.

Man, I’d forgotten how weird Greenlandish sounds… it’s like nothing else phonetically. Phonemically? It’s fascinating. Especially with the occasional Danish words inserted at random.

But… hm… Qaqqat alanngui had nerve from the start, and entertaining performances. This one starts off more ambiguously — it is a comedy? Is it a drama? Or are we gonna get some horror already?

(But kudos for the subtle camouflage shirt.)

It’s horror!

That’s the scary horror house!

Gotta have them shovels.

Having somebody yawn this much in a movie isn’t a good idea. That stuff is contagious!

Well, that’s scary.

But, nope, this movie just isn’t as compelling as the previous one. I mean, they’re both no budget tiny horror movies, but this one is mostly the two guys sitting around and then something mysterious happens once in a while. It’s just not that entertaining.

There’s original bits in here — like the thing with the rope? That pulled the guy into the Scary Basement? That was pretty cool (and properly nightmarish). But… on the whole, it’s not as much fun as the previous movie.

And I know, this is a no budget movie, made for fun, presumably, so it doesn’t feel fair to throw a die on this thing. But I’m going to, anyway, because I’m not fair.

There were several scenes I think worked well (by that I mean, they were scary), but overall:

Unnuap Taarnerpaaffiani. Malik Kleist. 2014. ⚁

Wut. This DVD is in 16:9? But nobody shot in 16:9 back then (and hardly any movies are shot in that aspect ratio today), so it’s been cut down, one way or another. I’m guessing they cut the top and bottom? TSK TSK this Kazan box set, dude…

Nope! They cut the left/right edges. Wrong again!

I hate 16:9 soo muuuuuch…

Hey, is that Mercator? Hm… it’s odd, whatever the projection is. And with Australia all the way up there in Asia? And all the islands in between all smushed into one land mass? Oh yeah! I didn’t notice that the Mediterranean was smushed, too! It’s a very land-centric projection.

Hey, it’s what’s-his-name!

This is very amusing. It’s old-fashioned (duh, from 1957) media criticism… but, man, it’s early for this kind of thing. The movie makes fun of the media in a way that feels staid now, but it must have been pretty radical back then.

I think! (And perhaps why it feels staid is because it’s been copied a lot?)

I mean, it’s meant to be over the top, but the problem is — why is this guy suddenly so popular? They try to establish him as popular by making him 1) not a racist, and 2) somebody who makes fun of (some) ads, but is that enough? On the other hand, people get famous on less than that, I guess… I think it would have helped if the songs he wrote were better?

And we’ve got more than half the movie to go — it the last half going to be about how the guy is discarded by the public? That’d be typical…

The power of aerials.

so critique

He’s so horny!!!

Yeah, as I expected — the last half isn’t as much fun as the first half.

I mean, the movie is, like, correct? Everything it says about TV and politics and everything? But… is it funny? No, it’s not. “It’s funny because it’s true” is the most incorrect thing ever.

He’s an influencer.

Heh heh.

My spellchecker doesn’t recognise “influencer” as a word! I’m proud of my spellchecker!

Yeah, that’s the correct reaction to the revoltin’ plot developmints.

Fighters For Fuller… Oh! KKK. Very subtle.

It ends with what has to be a reference to A Streetcar Named Desise (but “Marcia” instead of “Stella”), which is cool.

I dunno. I really liked like about half this movie? Then the rest not so much.

A Face in the Crowd. Elia Kazan. 1957. ⚃

Should they keep shoving his face this far up into the camera? I mean, they want to make him look like a dork, but…

Anyway, I’m watching this movie (even if I’ve kinda stopped watching super-hero movies) because it got so conflicting reviews that I kinda thought that it might be interesting? It flopped majorly at the box office, presumably both from super-hero fatigue and because the DC people said “we’re rebooting the DC universe, so whatever happens in The Flash ‘doesn’t count’. I MEAN IT”S THE MOST IMPORTANT MOVIE EVER!”. Which is confusing messaging.

Oh god. This movie started off pretty amusingly, but now we’re in bad, bad CGI land. It’s supposed to look awesome, but it just looks shoddy. Especially with the awful orange palette they’ve gone with.

I guess there’s gonna be a lot of this…

… and a lot of this.

I guess I see where they were going with this — it’s a fun madcap scene, but when you’re throwing ten babies out of the window, it’s a bit eh? Eh? Do we really need to have ten babies plummeting to their deaths (to be saved by The Flash in amusing ways)?

I dunno.

Heh, well that’s a nice touch.

Tada!

I think that was a lot funnier in the script than it turned out to be on the screen.

Nooo! Now we’re getting The Flash’s origin! And his childhood! Nooooo! Why can’t they just do the fun parts of super-heroing? When they have their powers and stuff? Instead we always get their traumatic, boring origins.

Oh, he was so sad that he broke into the multiverse! I hate multiverse stuff!

Well, it’s inventive…

*rolls eyes*

It’s classic multiversey stuff, and it’s kinda amusing.

That’s the problem with multiverses…

OK, now we get to the infamous final boss fight, rendered in a desert. But… it didn’t really look as bad as I expected.

And the CGI Nick Cage instead of the scenes he did for this movie.

Yes, exactly.

But… it’s not as bad as everybody says it is. It’s written mostly as a comedy, but that doesn’t really make it all of the way to the screen, I think. The goofy bits (and half of the film is goofy bits) are successful, but then you shift to these standard super-hero serious bits, and that doesn’t quite work.

Ezra Miller is really good in this; he can turn the goofy and silly up to ten at the drop of a hat. The movie is perhaps too long, but I wasn’t really bored at any point of the movie. It feels like it almost should have worked?

The Flash. Andy Muschietti. 2023. ⚃