Cat’s Eye

What’s Studiocanal’s deal anyway… they’re involved in a lot of stuff like this — restoring random movies. I mean, they’re French, after all, so doing a 4K restoration of an 80s Stephen King horror movie seems so… random. Did I mention random?

It’s the Stephen King Cinematic Universe!

Seem accurate.

Is that accurate, though?

This is very odd. I think I must have seen it before, but I have no recollection of the film. I assumed it was a straight-up horror movie, but it seems very broad — I guess it’s meant to be funny? Did the scene where they electrocute the cat bring down the room, though?

More crossover action!

So the gag here is that James Woods signed up for an anti-smoking treatment — and the treatment is, basically: They’re watching him, and if he lights up, they’ll torture his family.

I have no idea how the cat and the ghost doll ties into all this.

It’s very meta.

Director Teague didn’t do a lot of directing — his most famous contribution up there, Death Race 2000, was for second unit stuff. He’s directed a bunch horror/action films in the 80s, basically.

Oh! This is one of them there anthology movies? With the cat doing the link segments?

So I guess there’s gonna be three of these Twilight Zone/Roald Dahl-ish half hour things?

I guess Teague’s second unit career really shows in the cat scenes — they’re really good.

This one is really scary! Eeek!

Well, that was fun!

This reminds me… there were a number of these anthology horror movies in the 80s, weren’t there? I wonder why… I mean, it doesn’t seem like a natural format for something you watch in the movie theatres, and these films weren’t meant for the straight-to-video market, either.

50s nostalgia amongst 80s filmmakers? They all just want to do Twilight Zone and there’s no network that wants to do them?

Oh, that’s Drew Barrymore? (I had a sneak peek at imdb.)

This film is a lot of fun. It’s not exactly perfect — the bits are 30 minutes long, but seem padded. As TV episodes, they’d have been 22 minutes long (with ads added), and perhaps that would have been better?

Still, a lot of fun. It’s a bit weird, though — what was the cat doing in the first two bits, anyway? (It’s a major character in the third bit.)

Oh:

Against the director Lewis Teague’s wishes, the studio cut out a prologue that explained the cat’s motivations. They considered it “too silly.” As a result, many viewers were confused by the connection between the three stories.

Heh heh. This is a still from the intro that was 86’d by the studio. I can’t imagine why!

*phew*:

The DVD commentary is supplied by director Lewis Teague. He states during it that in the ‘Quitters Inc’ segment (when the cat is being shocked while standing on the electrified floor) the cat is actually leaping around wildly because the animal handler (hidden under the floor) is blowing compressed air on it to surprise it. The cat is not actually being shocked.

Cat’s Eye. Lewis Teague. 1985.

Down There

This looks like it’s going to be one of those minimal Akerman films, which makes a change from the previous two films in this box set. They were more traditional, with people being interviewed and stuff.

So far (fifteen minutes in), we’ve had four long takes, each looking out this window to the neighbours — shot through these drapes. The neighbours are puttering around in their rooftop garden. And the sound is the natural sound from Akerman’s apartment (presumably), with her answering the phone. But also doing a voice-over… about two of her cousins committing suicide, and her family in general.

It’s riveting!

Part of the attraction is the sheer Peeping Tom aspect of it all… nobody could actually sit staring at their neighbours like this. But here, we have no other choice.

*gasp* Outside!!! It cannot be!

Oops. This is a DVD, and it’s interlaced, and the deinterlace seems to be hitting the resolution of the drapes, so everything’s all shimmery all of a sudden…

This needs a blu ray remaster.

Is that Akerman? It kinda looks like it?

Oh, yeah, this is a movie about Israel and being under siege.

It’s great!

Down There. Chantal Akerman. 2006.

Morbius

Oh, right, this is the infamous super-hero bomb? I’m already impressed with how nonsensical it is, and we’re only a couple minutes in.

I’m fascinating by how abrupt this movie is. It’s not using the normal super-hero storytelling devices and aesthetics at all. Perhaps some of that’s due to budget constraints — using cheap subway tile in this laboratory, and then having the rest of the set be in pitch darkness — but it’s refreshing to see something actually filmed on a set instead of just being greenscreen and CGI, which is the standard now for even the simplest of scenes.

(Although parts of the office is CGI and that is probably a CGI mouse.)

Hey! That shows Jared Leto’s dedication to the role — at the start of the movie, he was a forty pound weakling, but during the filming, he bulked up to Charles Atlas size!

Hm… the film’s kinda lost something now… it was weird and abrupt at the start, but in a good way. Now it’s more… abrupt but somewhat boring.

It’s still odd! I’m wondering what happened to this movie, so excuse me while I pause to google.

So this was filmed in 2019 in London. But later that year, Marvel/Disney reached an agreement with Sony to tie things more deeply into the Marvel movie timeline, allowing the Spider-Man-verse (which this is part of, sort of) to be part of all that. This led to reshoots. The movie was meant to be shown in 2020, but then Corona happened, so it was postponed to 2021, and further reshoots happened to keep up with the Spider-Man films. Then premiere was postponed to 2022, and more reshoots happened, and then we got what we got.

And it bombed:

The negative reception toward the film generated an ironic meme culture surrounding it with “praise”, which led Sony to re-release it into 1,000 theaters on June 3, 2022. This re-release also performed poorly, making just $280,000 over the weekend.

It bombed twice.

The film does feel really, really tightly edited. Perhaps over-edited? Like someone has tinkered with the film for more than two additional years, getting everything super tight? And I like that! It’s not like any other super-hero movie… I could imagine they just keep moving the date back year after year, never ending, doing reshoot after reshoot: The Movie On The Edge Of Forever.

Like what this guy says:

Seems more like an episode of something rather than a film

I understand what he means, because it’s way off model for one of these movies… and I’m starting to like it more.

*rolls movie again*

OK, that’s a cheap joke, but heh.

*gasp* Kitty!

I’ve seen super-hero movies that are a lot worse than this. Like — most of them? The start of this is pretty intriguing, and then it gets iffy, and then at the end it’s more traditional. It’s a mess, kinda. I think would be a more reasonable rating, but I’m never reasonable, so:

Morbius. Daniel Espinosa. 2022.