Oh, right — Amy Heckerling… Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Clueless. This is gonna be awesome.

Alicia Silverstone!

Krysten Ritter!

OK, this has to be the best movie ever.

Nice.

Heh heh.

You’ve gotta be kidding me!!! SIGOURNEY, TOO!?

So topical! A few years ahead of its time.

Oh, yeah, this is super goofy and silly. It’s kinda halfway between Scary Movie and The Nanny.

IS EVERYBODY IN THIS MOVIE!? MALCOLM!!

Larry…

OK, I give up. This movie really does have everybody. Does Heckerling have the best rolodex in the business?

I ALREADY SAID I GIVE UP

This movie is the silliest thing ever and I love it.

It’s just good-natured fun.

But! We’re coming up on the one hour mark, so the third act’s gonna happen now. Are they all gonna get killed or something to adhere to movie writing conventions?

Nope! This movie defied all conventions, and avoided the Dreaded Third Act Disease. Instead they went for a super affecting ending, but still funny.

This is very true. It almost doesn’t work, but then it does. It’s a lovely little unassuming trifle of a movie, and it’s adorable.

Vamps. Amy Heckerling. 2012. ⚄

It’s been a while since I’ve seen a Woody Allen movie… he’s probably made some since this one…

That’s a cute meet-cute, but kinda totally phoned in? Kinda like a parody of one, without being funny?

I’ve been there!

*gasp* The the actor playing Woody’s wife is only 20 years younger than he is! Is that a record!?

This movie is slightly on the orange/yellow side?

But looks good with the green.

Heh. This guy is totally trying to do Woody 1976-ish.

Baldwin is great as imaginary friend. Or are the rest of them imaginary, and he’s the real one? Hm… I guess that sounds more likely.

Harsh. But accurate. I think he may be referring to the Italian-famous-schmuck-fantasy storyline? Probably.

Because this is the most boring of the storylines — it’s just a single joke that lasts half an hour. Perhaps if they’d cut each storyline down by a third?

Hasn’t somebody done this gag before? It seems really familiar.

It just gets more and more tedious. It’s like they forgot to actually write the movie.

It’s got a couple of funny bits, but it mostly feels interminable.

To Rome With Love. Woody Allen. 2012. ⚁

Heh heh, beating up Santa is so apocalyptic.

Anyway, I saw this in an actual cinema in the 90s. You know, one of those places where lots of people sit in the same room and watch the same film? I know! It sounds like science fiction, but it was actually a thing.

I remember liking this movie quite a lot?

The shakycam is kinda overwhelming, though.

Uhm… this isn’t as good as I remembered. It looks good, but slightly cheap?

Oh, wow — I was wrong there. It’s a big budget… and it totally bombed! Totally.

Well, they didn’t get their money’s worth on the sets — everything looks slightly back-lot-y, and I’m not even sure they’re actually back lots.

SO MUCH DRAMA

It just seems kinda fake? It’s like they had to put in a scene here like this for character development, and it’s just kinda dull.

Is that Nine Inch Nails? Doesn’t really sound like them, but perhaps it’s from after I stopped listening to them…

Looks like a fun club.

*gasp* The perversions!

This guy is a really bad actor.

It’s pretty accurate.

Man, the plot here is so… I don’t want to say convoluted. It’s just kinda silly. And the movie whiplashes between being kinda expressive and then dropping down into TV series cop show dialogue. It’s jarring.

SO MUCH DRAMA

And the basic mystery — “who’s the deranged killer” — there’s basically just a single person it can be, which is so sloppy. (I mean, I guess they want us to think that the killer is that other guy, so it’s not him, and there is only a single person remaining.)

I was really disappointed — I remembered this being a lot better. And it’s got some really memorable scenes, but then there’s all the rest which is totally forgettable. It’s not that it’s overly long, either — I mean, it’s two and a half hours, but it doesn’t feel padded, and you couldn’t really cut anything without losing some plot. It’s just that so much of it’s kinda boring.

Strange Days. Kathryn Bigelow. 1995. ⚂