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Barbie

Heh heh, that’s a funny opening.

I guess this movie is what is going to represent the Biden era for any generations that might follow — a brief respite when things seemed kinda normal.

This is funny and all, but… earlier today I watched Merrily We Live, where every scene had been honed to maximum hilarity, and in comparison, this just seems lazy: Most of the jokes are either referential or stuff like “I’ll beach you off”, which is funny because IT”S SUCH A DOUBLE ENTENDRE. Almost a century apart, it’s like I’m watching the decline of human humour or something.

And this dance number? It’s not good. I mean, for non-dancers it’s not bad, but…

Oh, now we’re in SNL land…

I thought this would be better. It’s like they thought that the entire concept of “Barbie, but slightly sarcastic” would be so hilarious that they don’t have to write any actual jokes. Instead it’s just references, and a shot of Miss America and them going “Oh, the Supreme Court”…

The script feels lazy. And I’m just half an hour in and I’m already thinking that this is too long.

Some of the scenes are pretty zippy, but most of them are just too slow.

I wonder whether Hazel Flagg saw this movie.

And:

OK, I didn’t think she’d like it, but that’s harsh, man! I fear she’s right, though. I hope the movie picks up…

OK, that’s not a bad joke. But it’s a one-liner seemingly designed to be quoted on Twitter.

Man.

Those 1-star reviews are obviously all Nazis, but people actually seemed to like this movie.

This really is like a really, really long SNL skit.

Did this song win the Oscars? It did not, and it’s not a good song.

Wow, that’s harsh! But accurate.

Oh my god. I’ve been ready for this to be over for at least half an hour, but there’s 15 minutes more to go?

It’s just been one preachy scene after another and I’m ready to gnaw my foot off.

There are funny bits in this, but the last half of the movie is unbelievably boring. It just can’t stop preaching at the audience — when one rousing speech stops, you get the next one.

So while it’s a really miserable thing to see, I have to go with:

Barbie. Greta Gerwig. 2023.

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