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Crimes of the Future

This has like 20 producers… I kinda thought those days were over, and that Netflix or Amazon would just hand out silly amounts of money to everybody, but not to Cronenberg, I guess?

And this is the second movie of that name Cronenberg has made! The first one was er “eek” I think I would summarise it. And I haven’t really been looking forward to watching this movie, but it Cronenberg, so I have to.

Oops.

Hm, these mechanical-organic things certainly remind you of similar things in eXistenZ — but they looked so much better in that movie. Even slithery things in, say, Videodrome looked 100x better than this plastic thing that can barely move…

OK, I was worried that this was going to be totally gross since I’ve actually read reviews of this movie. But it’s not! Instead it’s totally CGI? I mean, they’ve got all these kinda neat sets, but then they cut to 1995 level CGI for all the surgery shots? And possibly some muppet show stuff.

It’s disturbing, but not because it’s gross. More because even with 20 producers, Cronenberg didn’t have the budget to do effects that look OK.

I’m finding it very hard to keep paying attention to this movie. It’s just… dare I say it… kinda boring? Perhaps viewers who have a surgery fetish would find this thrilling? It’s got all these weird elements that should make this an interesting movie, but instead every thread seem to disintegrate. It’s without focus?

Two repair people are better than no repair people.

Anyway, I’ve seen all of Cronenberg’s movies — some several times. And his movies are by no means all wonderful or anything. But… I didn’t really enjoy this much. And it even ended exactly like I guessed it would.

Crimes of the Future . David Cronenberg. 2022.

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