In From the Side

Eep! It’s a sports movie!

This is more like a TV series than a movie, but it’s not annoying.

This is a very confusing movie. I don’t even understand what this is supposed to be about… It’s about… a gay rugby league, and things are… dramatic… because…

Every scene has been played as if something really dramatic is going on, and then there’s nothing. It’s like they’ve read that book How To Write A Damn Good Novel, where the central tenet is that there should always be a primary and a secondary conflict in any (ANY) scene. This usually translates to people shouting at each other for no reason when the writer can’t come up with a secondary conflict for that scene.

…

OH MY RU! This is 135 mins long?! So was this a TV series originally?

OK, this is just a love story kinda (with lots of cheating)? There’s like very little plot here.

Just sneaking around, some rugby, and a lot of drinking in bars. So my puzzlement have changed from “what’s this then?” to “why should anybody care?”

I’m hoping there’ll be a twist, but I’m not counting on it.

You can tell that it’s cold by them colour-grading everything blue.

There’s like no stakes? I’m beginning to believe that they haven’t read that book anyway. I mean, the outcome of this match should determine his grandmother’s birthday or something, but instead it’s just this random match that means nothing (except them getting cold and wet).

Eep! I’m just an hour in… more than half to go, and there’s basically nothing really is happening. I mean, there’s a handful of plot strands, but none of them seem really vital. I guess that’s what makes it seem like a TV series…

OK, now I have to google it.

So it’s not a TV series…

In from the Side was partly funded using a crowdfunding model.

I’m not the only one!

It’s an intriguing backdrop to a tale of infidelity, but it would be better suited to a four-parter on TV.

OK, this bit where he takes his super-secret lover to meet his parents (as one does) is tedious beyond belief.

UNCOMFORTABLE

But now he remembers what’s important in life: Rugby.

I wasn’t annoyed by this movie. It’s like… there’s so little going on here that it’s almost impossible to be annoyed? But that’s perhaps a bit too flippant. But it’s really quite unusual how un-annoying it is: There’s nothing weird going on with the cinematography (shakycam or over-colour correcting), or the audio (no insistent soundtrack or over-foleying), or the acting (perfectly pleasant and professional).

It’s a bit like watching tasteful wallpaper dry.

So how do you score that?

In From the Side. Matt Carter. 2022. ⚁

Revenge

Nice duds for partying.

There’s a certain amateurishness to everything here… as if this was made by kids who were telling TV camera people what to do? I.e., lots of zooming, and odd framing, and overly theatrical performances…

Ah, it’s a pro-Korea propaganda movie? I’m guessing ex-Korean people weren’t treated well in Russia… (I mean, Soviet Union.)

Oh, it’s a series of (quite short) … stories? The first one was barely a scene.

Oh, these aren’t stories at all… It’s just one story that’s broken into chapters.

Unfortunately, it’s pretty dull stuff. I mean, the concept doesn’t sound that bad: A teacher kills a girl, and their parent vow revenge. But the parents are old, so the father has to take a new concubine to get a son who can carry out the revenge.

I mean, that’s practically John Wick, isn’t it?

It’s just not done very well. I think I see what the director is going for, but it turns into a kind of … parody of art movies instead.

It’s not impossible that I would have enjoyed this more if I paid more attention, but I sorta lost interest pretty quickly and my mind stated wandering.

So now I’m not quite sure what’s happening.

I’m totally open to the possibility that this is a masterpiece, but I just found it pretty dull.

Месть. Yermek Shinarbayev. 1990. ⚁

The Inspection

Uh-oh! A24!

I know that there are people who are fans of the A24 production company — it’s a whole thing — and I can respect that. I’m a fan of certain record companies, and that’s fine.

But I’ve seen like a handful of A24 movies, and I’m not impressed. They’re generally technically pretty slick (for the budget they have), but they’ve all been pretty… annoying? Like they’re chasing some social media conversation or other.

But perhaps this’ll be awesome.

Uh-oh.

Hey! I’ve been there.

Yeah, this is already pretty annoying. The “hand-held” camera (either simulated in post or done on a tripod but with a lot of operator movement) is so eurgh.

Such symbolic.

SUCH SYMBOLIC!!!

Man, OK, I’m not sure I can do this…. It’s not just All The Clichés, but it’s also All The Boredom.

Yeah, that’s bad:

Although it’s frustratingly clumsy in certain respects, The Inspection is an affecting actors’ showcase in service of some truly worthy themes.

“Worthy”.

It turns out that living rough (and possibly being on drugs?) makes you really fit! Whodathunk! The other soldiers are jelly at the hero because he’s so good at the push ups and stuff.

It’s like a Mary Sue kind of movie… the protagonist (based on the writer, apparently) constantly has people telling him he’s hot and smart and then he’s the best at the sports, too.